A trip to walmart, questionable jogging stroller tires and a guitar Non hero

Hello Spring weather - I love you. After a long drive to Cecil County and back, a failed attempt at nap time and five minutes to let the sweat on my ass dry out (I know, ew) I threw the kid in the jogging stroller and hit the pavement for some exercise. First I thought of just doing my normal jog around the neighborhood but then remembered I had a few small items I needed to pick up at the store so I said to myself - "You know what Holly, go on and jog/walk yourself to Walmart. It's a beautiful day, the wind is blowing, the sun is shining, the cows are moo'ing." This is where I start to ramble because HOLY CRAP WALMART IS FAAAAAAAAAAR. I mean, up hill, BOTH WAYS far.

We set out, things are going well, the wind is at our back and we make it to Walmart in record time. When I get there, I 100% forget why I was even going but then ohhhhhhh shiny shiny Wii items are staring at me. MUST.HAVE.WII.ITEMS. Damn if Walmart didn't totally disappoint me. Rich and I really, really want Guitar Hero and they didn't have any. Boo to them. Don't think I didn't march that jogging stroller over to the Game Stop - Screw you big box store!!!!

Oh Game Stop how I love thee!! I've never even entered one of these stores. I was always afraid of geeky men greeting me at the door with Ipods, Nintendo DS,' laptops and googly glasses asking me "How they may be of service?" and that's just not my gig. Um, stereotype = totally true! Ok, I digress. I call Rich and tell him about all of the wonderful electronic wireless guitar gaming systems in their wonderful boxes and what flavor does he want? Les Paul? World Tour? All of them? DEAR GOD THIS IS HEAVEN!

He tells me to go for the World Tour, it has major rocking action! (Ok he didn't say that at all) I pay for it all giddy and nerdy and think I made a friend with the cashier. Then he declares how he doesn't have a bag big enough for the box. "That's OK!" I declare. I have my handy dandy jogging stroller with a 30lb child in it and semi-flat tires, I can make this work.

Except the little baskety thingy attached to the bottom of the jogging stroller is NARROW. The one time I pick to be athletic instead of savvy and bring the jogging stroller instead of the travel system with a basket large enough to hold the 30lb child and I decide to buy a freakin' guitar. Super. Instead of continuing to look like a horses pa toot in the store I stroll out all confident that I know what I'm doing. Of course Geek Boy (who is no longer my friend) shouts after me "I HOPE YOUR CAR ISN'T TOO FAR MISS!!!" Thanks Geeker, I think your pocket protector is ringing!

Out on the sidewalk I stare at the large box, stare at the large hill I must traverse to get home and stare at the child in the seat of the stroller. The thought may have crossed my mind to ditch the kid and strap my beautiful Guitar Hero into the stroller and run, run, run as fast as I could to get home and play it - but I thought better of it. So my next solution...

Recline seat and jam large box next to child. Child is tres unhappy. Long walk + screaming child = return Guitar Hero. Oh wait! I think if I do this...
Shove sippy cup into mouth of child, jam box next to child and run, run, run as fast as I can he won't even care! Yes, success!
Ok, he looks none too pleased but think about the drivers who saw this sight on their way home and thought about how ridiculous a Mom I totally am to walk to a store and buy a game and make my child suffer all the way home being squished by a freakin' guitar. Don't you wish you were driving down Mt. Airy today?

Now, I'm sure you have questions.

Q: Weren't you afraid you would get jumped and your precious Guitar Hero would be stolen by an Amish boy who is looking to trade electronic games for more cattle?

A: Yes. This was a chance I was willing to take. Plus, I had it planned out. First, I would grab his suspenders and pull them as hard as I could and release quickly, sending him flying backwards into his horse that would eat his face off. Then I would run.

Q: Did you enjoy playing Guitar Hero once you got it home?

A: No. What I thought was the Guitar Hero package: Guitar + Game, turned out to only be the Guitar. Henceforth and so on I paid way too much money for something that is completely useless and quite possibly has made my child suffer severe crampage of the entire body.

P.S. I apologize for my severe run on sentences. With the new Wii I figure I no longer need to worry about my brain, grammar or proper writing skills. I'm a gamer baby, back off!